You've probably seen those "Ultimate Self-Care Checklists" floating around, right? Meditate this long, journal that much, get to the gym 5 times a week... it’s a one-size-fits-all recipe for well-being.
But let’s be real: your life isn’t a generic template.
I mean, if you’re fresh out of college and I’ve got a few more decades under my belt, can we really have the same self-care checklist?
Let’s flip the script.
Instead of trying to fit into a pre-made mold, why not create a self-care routine that’s tailored just for you? Because the best self-care isn’t about ticking off boxes—it’s about tapping into what makes you feel alive, nourished, and at peace.
So, if you're ready to redefine self-care, dive in. In today's blog, we're going to:
- Understand why a universal self-care list just doesn’t cut it.
- Learn the importance of personal motivation in choosing self-care activities.
- Discover how to create a flexible self-care 'menu' that suits your unique needs and moods.
- Align your self-care practices with the results you desire, be it calmness, energy, or even physical strength.
- Recognize the benefits of truly personalized self-care on your mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
Ditch the one-size-fits-all approach and embrace a self-care journey that's genuinely tailored to you!
Defining Self-Care
At its heart, self-care isn't just a buzzword or a trendy hashtag.
Self-care is the intentional act of taking care of our mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
It's the choices and actions we take to nourish our souls, recharge our spirits, and honor our boundaries. It's about recognizing our needs and taking steps to meet them.
If the idea of dedicating time for yourself feels foreign, know that it's natural to feel a tad selfish or indulgent initially.
Those twinges of guilt? Completely normal.
And to the overachievers out there who equate downtime with wasted time, the thought of taking an hour after dinner to simply unwind might seem preposterous.
But here's the thing—change, especially one that moves you out of your comfort zone, will always feel a tad peculiar.
So, my advice?
Get over it!
Embrace the discomfort. Focus on the desired outcome and dive right in.
But keep your sights on the outcome you want and just get started.
Understanding Your Why
Since I was a little girl, I’ve always asked too many questions, regularly annoying my father. Why this, why that. He wasn’t one to indulge my questions and forced me to be satisfied with the simple answer – “Because I’m your father and I said so.”
Fast forward to today and I have a hard time buying into something without knowing why I’m doing it.
Same goes for buying into lists of “must-do’s or must-haves.”
As for self-care, the remedy often seems to be ready made checklists. Do this, do that, without much regard for personalization.
"Why am I doing this? Is a question you should ask as you craft a self-care plan for yourself.
If you're journaling because everyone says it's good but you dread it every evening, perhaps it's time to reconsider. Your "why" should be fueled by personal benefit, not external validation.
How you check in with your why and realize that journaling can offer you a safe space to process feelings, reflect on experiences, or manifest dreams. Ah, now that feels more meaningful. So, you’re more apt to continue with the practice and reap the benefits.
But although I may try journaling, I may do it because it’s a way to track personal growth and milestones over the years and detect patterns in my moods.
Same practice, different why’s.
Same with exercise. What’s your why? You may want to strengthen and tone muscles. I may want to work off work frustration. Same choice, but different motives.
These 'whys' anchor the action, making the practice more meaningful and connected to your unique journey and needs.
The Myth of the Universal Self-Care List
There's a misconception that self-care has a one-size-fits-all manual. But simply put, it doesn't.
While meditation might work wonders for one, it could be a complete miss for another. Recognizing this variability is the first step to crafting a self-care routine that truly nourishes you.
Additionally, your needs change with different life stages. What worked in your 20s might not resonate in your 40s. As life evolves, with its challenges and triumphs, your self-care strategies should adapt in tandem.
Ditch the Guilt
Society often makes us feel guilty for not following popular self-care trends. Remember, it's about quality, not quantity. It's okay if you don’t have a ten-step night routine or a dedicated hour for mindfulness. Even five minutes of genuine, heart-felt self-care can be transformative.
Create Your Unique Self-Care Menu
If a checklist doesn’t resonate with you, envision a menu. This way, every day, you can choose what feels right in that moment. Some days, it might be a walk in nature, while on others, it could be curling up with a good book or calling a close friend.
This buffet-style approach offers variety and flexibility, ensuring you get precisely what you crave and need. This means you can toss that one-size-fits-all checklist out the window and start curating a more tailored self-care list that speaks to your needs, whims, and desires.
Imagine waking up and instead of thinking, "I should do yoga today because it's on my self-care list," you ponder, "What does my mind and body truly want today?" Some days, your spirit might yearn for the gentle rustling of leaves and the embrace of fresh air, urging you towards a calming walk in nature. Other times, the allure of a gripping novel or the therapeutic sound of a dear friend's laughter might be what you need to recharge.
This method of intuiting self-care will be so much more rewarding.
As for myself, I can speak to my history of “doing” self-care the way high performance influencers led me to believe I should.
For a while I followed a rigid self-care routine – meditating in the morning, followed by an hour of workout, and ending my day by journaling. After a while it felt more like a duty than relaxation. The turning point came during a particularly hectic week when I didn't have the time (or energy) for my usual routine. Instead, I spontaneously chose to find a Zumba YouTube dance video with some Latino music and I danced around the living room instead. That brief dance session, filled with laughter and goofy moves, recharged me more than any structured regimen ever had.
The lesson here? Being in tune with your needs is pivotal. Start by listing out all the activities that rejuvenate you. This becomes your self-care menu. And remember, it's not set in stone. As you grow and evolve, your menu can too. It's all about choices, adaptability, and, most importantly, authenticity.
Craft Self-Care Around Desired Outcomes
When curating a self-care routine, it's not just about the activities you include, but also the outcomes you desire.
Asking yourself, "What do I want to achieve through this practice?" can lead to a more tailored and effective approach to self-care. Some examples of preferred outcomes might be:
- Calming: Maybe your days are full of back-to-back meetings, constant noise, or the chaos of city life. If serenity is what you seek, activities like meditation, deep breathing exercises, or even simply sipping herbal tea in a quiet corner can become your go-to.
- Energizing: Feel sluggish by midday? Perhaps what you need is a routine that pumps energy into your veins. This could be a high-intensity workout, a quick dance break, or even listening to an uplifting podcast. Remember my spontaneous Zumba dance? That's energizing self-care in action!
- Physical Strength & Health: If your goal is to feel strong, fit, and healthy, your self-care menu might feature regular exercise routines, stretches, or perhaps even a new sport. And it's not just about gym workouts. Gardening, hiking, or even chasing your dog in the park can be just as effective and enjoyable!
- Peaceful Escape: Sometimes, the world can feel overwhelming, and you need an escape – not literally, but emotionally and mentally. This is where activities like reading, immersive music sessions, or even daydreaming come in. These are your portals to different worlds, giving your brain the break it needs.
- Connection: Feeling isolated or out of touch? Your self-care routine can include activities that strengthen your connections. Weekly video calls with loved ones, joining an online club with shared interests, or simply taking the time to send a handwritten note can do wonders for the soul.
Helpful tip: Create a chart or mood board. On one side, list down the outcomes you desire (like the ones mentioned above), and opposite each outcome, pen down activities that resonate with it. Over time, as you discover more about yourself and your needs, you can keep adding to this board. It acts as a visual reminder, ensuring your self-care routine is always aligned with your desired outcomes. Remember, it's all about being intentional with your choices.
Let's Wrap it Up!
Trial and error is the name of the game. Try out different self-care practices without commitment. Maybe a dance class brings you more joy than a gym session. Perhaps painting allows you to express and reflect better than writing. The key is to remain open-minded and flexible.
True self-care is not about ticking boxes. It’s a deeply personal journey of understanding and honoring your needs. In a world that constantly pushes standardized solutions, dare to stand apart. Craft your self-care narrative, one that aligns with your soul, and watch how it transforms your well-being.
Got some other suggestions that work for you? Let’s chat in the comments below. 🌟
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